Friday, May 18, 2007

dating

This September 22, my husband John and I will have been married for six years. Six years. Gasp. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by, how the years have blended together into so much excitement, newness, obstacles, and triumphs. I still haven't grasped how those six years of junior high and high school seemed like such an eternity, and how a period of the same time (even without those summer vacations), can seem so...short. So fast. Time needs to slow. down.

Yesterday, although a stressful day, my family and I made time to stop off at a park, founded in 1887. Next to the river, there were banks of greyish sand, soft grass, a little on the long side, and massive trees that reached up to the blue sky. As John sat in the car making an important phone call, Johnna and I walked down by the river, where we saw a young couple walking, holding hands. It made me remember the early years with John. Erm...The early MONTHS with John....and, well, he was my first and only boyfriend. Do you ever MISS those early months of dating your soul mate? Do you remember what they were like? The excitement, the newness, the nervousness, the excitement?

I do. I mean, currently I am far beyond happy in life, for the most part. But there is something about knowing I will never again experience those days, those feelings, of our early relationship, that makes sad. I am SO thankful for memory. I have been blessed with a wild, sharp memory.

Our first date. It was at a coffee shop. It was the last jazz band practice of the year - before our big three day tour - and John had stopped me by the door to the rehearsal theatre. I had suspisions he liked me...honking at me with his bari sax, hugging me, a special handshake, always unpacking and packing up his instrument next to mine...so when he asked me...I was thrilled and kind of half expecting it, someday. Maybe.

Jazz band rehearsal was one hour. 4:30-5:30. When the clock hit 5:00, I began to get SO NERVOUS! But all was well as we walked side by side to his DORM (!) room. (He needed to get his wallet). I saw our reflections in the glass door. A girl, myself. Short brown hair, no bangs. Brown pants, black sandles, a blue shirt with a "space baby" imprinted on it. A boy. A boy!!! Slightly taller, wearing baggy pants with holes and tears around the knees and below. And a shirt. I don't recall what shirt, but his hair was long. almost like it is now, but longer. There was something different about it. And he had a beard. A great beard, and smaller wire-rimmed glasses. He was 21. I was 18. There was just so much magic. I was venturing into some place I had never gone before. Going from a girl who is hopelessly devoted to her trumpet and music ONLY, who had to work up every grain of sand to talk to a boy (don't know why I chose "grain of sand," it just popped into my head just then)....but anyway, here I was, alone with him, alone with a COLLEGE GUY (A SOPHOMORE!) and I was a senior in high school...alone with him and we were going somewhere and he WAS SO CUTE! I could go on and on and on and on....about this one day in time.

Other dates followed. Of course we went on the jazz band tour together. We sat next to one another on the bus (everyone else had their own seats!). We held hands!!!!!!! (First time EVER!), we shared headphones and snacks. He would smile at me and hold my hand and rub it sort of. And sometimes when he'd let go for awhile, I would feel sad and put my hand on his leg, and he would soon put his hand down and transfer our hands to my lap. The band director, sitting a few seats ahead, would turn around and look...suprised but yet not suprised (he was a really cool guy).

No kisses, just hanging out all the time! We shopped together (went to a record store in Chicago,to a park, road on the subway together...first times for many things! No kissing yet!) So innocent!

When it came time to head home, he asked for my phone number, and gave me his, and he had me draw him a map of how to get to my house. For some reason, I didn't believe he would ever call or ever stop by....but to my suprise!

A few days later, he was over, and we were going for walks and watching TV late at night and...KISSED! My first ever kiss...I remember his eyes looking so dark, and him pushing his hair to the side and leaning in to kiss me. I was so shocked....but it is almost like one of those moments frozen in my memory. Beautiful. Afterward, he said, referring to a video: "I think it's done rewinding." And he would never want to leave. He would sit on my parents' couch and put his head down on my shoulder and just not want to go. (It was a 40 minute drive back to the college).

We had our jokes about the casino being so fortunate as a 1/2 way point, or otherwise we'd fall asleep. Oh yes. I did my share of going to HIS place, too. I am sure this made my parents very nervous.

ESPECIALLY that time I spent the night! Haha! Although it was all very innocent. I slept in my pants and one of his shirts, he in some shorts, but we did sleep in his twin bed. And I remember him having to get up early to go to class, having to shower. He came back to his room, his hair long and wet. I sat on his bed watching him comb is hair. He was just too...how could this be REAL?

We had gone to a coffee house concert, quite a drive away, 2 hours one way maybe, got back, watched some of a reggae festival on the mall, then went back to his room. It was near midnight, and, although only a 40 minute drive home, I did NOT want to leave. NO NO NO NO NO. Hanging out with him, hanging out at the coolest campus in the WORLD! (hippies!) oh my, it was a dream come true. Not to mention I just felt so safe with him, like I mattered in the world, as long as I mattered to him! So he would give me til certain minutes on the clock, and I would have to say if I wanted to go or stay. I didn't want to invite myself, so I decided to not say a word. I ended up staying.

I remember my mom vacuuming upon my return. My dad might have either been on the computer or not home at all. They gave me these concerned looks...like...er...is our daughter not the same daughter? What exactly happened. She spent the night?! But honestly, nothing was different, nothing had happened.

John. John. John. John. we did SO MUCH. We went hiking, on ferries to islands, rode bikes, watched movies late at night while eating frozen pizza at his place (by now he was living in a house with 3 other girls and a cat). I even came down here to meet his parents and stay at his parents house for a weekend. (Scary!)

He would come out to my great-aunt's cottage and play croquet and mingle with my family. I'll never forget our many walks by Lake Superior, going for a picnic when it was way to windy and cold and that dreaded question he would ask me: what are you thinking about right now?

Because it was, of course, him, and how happy I was, in my Glory...but when you are 18 and have just only dated a guy for a week, you are very hesitant to tell him THAT!

And there was that time, where he had me sit down on a bench to tell me something....and it was that he had never felt this way about any other girl before.....he couldn't finish because was too embarassed...but he didn't have to (although I would have LOVED to hear it).

I LOVED just going for walks, even to run errands, like buy toothpaste or peanut butter from the food co-op. I loved meeting his friends and driving around in his little maroon baretta.

And when I was without him? I felt as if he was still there with me. My mom and I would go for walks, and we'd discuss John and me and our relationship...and even though we had only been dating for a short while, even though we had just only met, I KNEW with much confidence, we would be together for a long, long time.

Still in high school, I took up riding my bike to school (hehe), I'd take my headphones and HIS CDs, mainly Morphine - Cure for Pain (GREAT CD!!!) and during open campus lunch, I would listen to HIS music and ride my bike all over the country side. He had already changed me. He had already taken over part of who I was. And that was a good thing.

I will miss those days dearly, but, because they happened to ME and because they will never leave me, they will never be gone.

How did you first meet your significant other? What were some of your first dates together? How were you feeling? Blog or comment! Either way, I'd love to hear!

Melissa at 11:32 AM

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